Let me order last, please.

When I was a little girl I was far from the most well-behaved child.  I would throw temper tantrums…just terrible screaming and crying fits, and my parents wouldn’t know what to do with me.  I think their general reactions were to try waiting it out or threatening me: with a spanking, time-out, having a toy taken away or otherwise.

These tantrums could happen at any moment, but were most guaranteed when we went out to eat at a restaurant.  My most famous childhood story starts “Hey Kelly remember that time we were in Waffle House and you wanted pancakes…”  I actually don’t remember that story.

The point is that eventually my mom wised up.  She noticed that I took forever staring at the menu, going through every dish before I could choose one.  Soon she started giving me a smaller selection to make a choice from, and I got better at restaurants.

To this day I am one of the last people to order at a restaurant because I have to read the whole menu.

This inability to make a choice without knowing all my other choices affects more than the time I spend at a restaurant.  I put off starting on projects because I get pulled to other projects.  I have more blog post drafts than I should.  I have a to-read pile that’s about 20 books long at any given point in time.  The amount of clothes I want to make would triple the size of my already packed closet.

Sometimes I get a little disoriented and panicked when I’m over-stimulated.  I dislike the mall and big stores for this reason.  I am a slow walker because I like to notice things.

I want to say that this behaviour will stop now…but I don’t want to lie.  I will challenge myself to finish more projects than I start this year and I think that’s a start.

 

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Lauren Mann

Writer of Words, Singer of Songs, Wanderer, Secret Keeper

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